Here at last!!!!!!!!!

I have been there and back.What a year... and what a terible year it has been.Istill can't believe all the things I have been through.Its like a very bad dream that is so vivid and which you the dreamer is desperately trying not to recall but everywhere you look,touch and care to feel its there like a bad breath.
I thank God for all his mercies.Istill dont know what I could have done Lord without you and your support is greatly appreaciated.Iam still numb from all those accussations and punishments that I have been meted with.When one lives in this unjust world,one expects the outcome to be like so..... but it still came as a shock.
I have learn't my lesson and still waiting for ?????to happen.I have lost all hope in human beings but that is my problem isitnotso?

JUNE IS THE MONTH!!!!

What a month this has been,a lot of unbelieveable things have happened.A short while ago I wouldn't have believed anything like this could actually happen to me.My precious son has left home,my God sent daughter has got her resuts,me too have got my results...... well???I have been to that church and feel good about it.
My God of the mountain is still my God of the valley,this has a lot of meaning for me.
What a month!!!!

My wonderful life!!!!!

It has been six long months since I was last here.what have I been up to? I have no idea ,all I can say is that not a lot has happened.I have moved hospitals,from pontefract to pinderfields, although I havent been able to settle down in my new ward due to ill health.It has been a very painful experience and also a wake up call for me as I now realise that anything can happen to me.I need to put my life in order as I have come to terms with the realization that I haven't got long to go..........but it is sooo... difficult to find the time to do it.
I have been surprised to think back to my friends who had the chance to have an orderly exit from this life as I always took it for granted that it was an easy task to perform.Anyway I have had alot of time to think about my ideal exit but that is just in my dreams.Iam happy and grateful for my life, if I had to live it again ,there are very few things I would change.
Always very very........ grateful to my late father and mum who taught me all I know and gave me this life that I have enjoyed soo........ much.

The New Me

As usual ,iam talking about time,how fast it seems to be passing me by.My wise grandmother used to say that a person only worries about time when time is really needed to acomplish all that which has needed to be worked on but never has, for either lack of will or just sheer laziness.I should have listened but as usual was too busy wallowing in self pity, or just letting time time go by .Now it appears like i will really never catch up as time has just passed me by.How sad.....?What have i been up to all this time......?What i this....time?

It is nearly christmas time and that means the end of year and beginning of a new year .Why do i dread that, i ask myself?I think i know the answer to that;the usual promises to self to do better than yesteryear, which are never fulfilled.How come its always the same every year and nothing ever changes,i still seem able to think the same thoughts year in year out,dispite the fact that nothing ever happens.
My grandmother used to say that its only the sentences that change but the meaning remains the same ,how i agree with her. I wish she was still around to confirm this wise saying for me.Come end of this month,i will be playing with my mind again making those promises that i never keep but feel obliged to make anyway.
What is it going to be this year?YOU GUESSED RIGHT!Same as last year and as the year before and ten years ago.Iam special in that way......,what do you think?

My dream????

I have been out for along time and as usual it never ceases to amaze me how fast time passes.Iwant to go back to the last few months and just try to remember what i have been doing and to my surprise"nothing "of importance or worth mentioning.Is this how worthless my life is to me and everyone else?
Actually i think something happened, i managed to send an offspring to university which even to my very respectable standards is unbelievable and to think that this offspring wants to study medicine is incredible.Iturn in my"mind "and wonder if she really is mine because these are dreams which are far fetched.Iam still in shock as i expect to wake up one day and find that it was just one of those wonderful dreams.Oh no, this has been my lucky year because my other offspring has also gone to college although i always forget to ask him what he is studying...Let me wallow in my good fortune for now. Please do not wake me up ,iam enjoying this dream!!.

This life;

I have been away for sometime now trying to piece my life together,whatever that means.I always admire people who can just decide at the spar of a moment to change their lives and voila its done.Its like the miracle of magic to me.In the first place i dont even know what i need to change,and then if i pretend to know what i want,i have no clue how to go about itThat is life for me.Dont get me wrong i love my life but it would do with a bit more, i think.Enough of moaning iam going to look at life now??????????.Till next time.